Do you have any old jewelry from an old relationship that you just can't bear to part with? You don't wear it, it just sits there in the bottom of your jewelry box, staring at you. Making you wonder what you're so damn sentimental about. Making you superstitious to wear it in case it is infected with bad relationship juice. Okay..maybe too far.
But here's the deal. I have this bracelet from my ex. It's really pretty, white gold and tanzanite. I love love loved it when he gave it to me. I wore it all the time. Good memories. Because I wore it all the time, he used to yell at me when it poked or scratched him in bed. Bad memories.
Yet I still have the thing. It's the last thing he gave me that I still own. Well, almost, but his fraternity letters remind me of college, and my friends, not really of him. What a jerk I am.
I wore it today. The bracelet, not the frat letters. I made the bold move to spit in the face of my superstitious nonsense and wore it. And I was all sentimental about it for an hour. I kept looking at how delicate and pretty it is. I remembered how happy I was when he gave it to me.
Then I started typing, and it started digging into my arm and being annoying. So I remembered how our relationship did that...look pretty, and then start digging in.
Now, it's the end of the day, and I'm totally over it. It's hurting me, I feel confined by it, and I can't wait to get it off. Funny how symbolic it is of the entire relationship.
So I decided to pawn it. How heartless is that? But at this moment, I don't ever want to wear it again. And what, I'm going to save it for the children I have with another man? I think not.
Nope, this bracelet is at least 1/3 of my new fantastic big girl bed. And when I sleep on it, I'll think of how far I've come.
It'll be the best thing he ever gave me.
Monday, August 25, 2008
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1 comment:
The only jewelry i will save is that from my parents
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