Sunday Shoutout!

So that clever idea I had to post something clever every Sunday...didn't work. I was all set to write a 'Sunday Short' at the end of the week. It went with both key words in my title..it was the obvious choice!
The problem was...the 'Short' part. Most of this blog is me rambling. Why? Because that's what I do. Never have I found something worthy of my comment that I would be satisfied to comment shortly about. Unless under time limit for school or something. And even then, you can be sure that I was getting the watch tapping from the Prof in the back of the room.
So I am altering the Sunday post to be.....
"Sunday Shout out"
I am always on the Internet and I frequently find sites or blogs that become a daily habit for me. I need to share them! Up until now, I've been content to link them in my list and send Starla repeated emails with links to more things than she can probably watch.
Since I already talked about Engrish.com this week, and since I've been informed that you should ask permission first to mention someones site, even if it's a shout out...we'll be skipping this week. I'm sending permission slips as we speak to my new *favorite* blog. I hope she says yes!! Hmm..maybe I can do a mini interview...or maybe I'm getting way ahead of myself.
Anyways...tune in next week to see what I come up with!

Tough Muffin

Okay..this is a really long post..but I promise there's a payout at the end. Here's what you get if you stick it out:

• A recipe for the muffins my bookclub are eating tomorrow
• A punch of my fantastic humor
• A pervy muffin picture

All worth it, right? Here we go:

Inside-Out Danish Muffins

• Your favorite flavor of jam. The thicker the better.
• 2 1/4 c All Purpose Flour
• 1/3 c Sugar
• 2 Tsp Baking Powder
• 1/2 Tsp Baking Soda
• 1/4 Tsp Salt
• 1 1/4 c Buttermilk
• 3 Tbsp Oil
• 2 egg whites
• 1 whole egg

-Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt in bowl, set aside.

-Cream eggs, oil and sugar in large mixing bowl. Alternately add buttermilk and dry ingredients.

Cheese Filling:

• 8 oz Pkg Cream Cheese
• 1 Tbsp Lemon juice
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 3/8 c sugar
• 1 egg

-Place a spoonful of batter in each muffin cup, or use papers if you want. Mine stuck, so I greased the pan the second time around.

-Place about a teaspoon of cheese stuff in the center of each batter blob. Like so:

- Now put about a teaspoon of jam on top of the cheese:

- Now cover them over with another spoonfull of batter. Make sure you cover all the goo.

- Bake them at 375 for 20 minutes. Or, if your oven is from the 6th ring of hell like mine, 325 for like 15. Stupid oven.

So I make these muffins, and I'm really excited, because yeah, the concept isn't exactly original, but I stole bits and pieces of recipes and made this my own. I just knew that as soon as I pulled them from the oven, a frazzeled looking photographer from Martha Stewart was gunna burst through the door and demand to take photos of them.

Little did I know that my muffins had gone bad. Or rather, only the strawberry. I had a little Westside Story on my hands. The clean cut apricot muffins had behaved themselves, browning and rising nicely, getting straight A's, playing sports...etc.

But the strawberry muffins were clearly from the wrong side of the muffin tin. They were so angry at having to bake alongside those goody two-shoes apricot muffins that they spewed. No, really. They came out all battle scarred and tough from defending their turf.



See that one of the lower left? Clearly the leader and spokesperson for the group. You can tell because he has the biggest mouth.
I thought we were going to have a rumble right there on the cooling rack.


I finally talked some sense into them and they settled down..but man, I still have to watch them. That strawberry guy has a serious attitude.



I know, I know..I promised you the pervy muffin. Fine. Here:


You guys need to get out more.

Engrish

Sometimes I SO miss Japan. Every once in a while I go on Engrish.com to get my fix. For those of you who haven't been, it seems like it must be pretty hard to translate something into english. I gather that the sentence structure it different. Here's an example:

And sometimes they really mean it:

Lastly, you see really trendy japanese teens running around it shirts like this:

(Makes you wonder, do they know what that means?!)

More of the fun at Engrish.com!

Big, Fat Reality.

I know that no one wants to hear about anyone else's body issues. Especially not in a blog. So why am a spreading my angst all over the internet? Because nothing says "Step away from the cupcake!" like pulling out the summer clothes.
I think somewhere along the line I must have ate a skinny person, because I always picture myself in my head as a windswept model, dressed in the latest trends (maybe not leggings) and laughing. I'm usally tossing my hair too.
Damn.
So....if you see me running along the side of the road, wheezing, sweating and red faced... Do not help me. And whatever you do, do not throw me a cupcake.

Hot new crushes...

There are some new men in my life. I just thought you all should know. They are both handsome, talented and mysterious. At least one of them is too young for me, and the other is probably married. Of course they aren't real boys. They are TV boys!!!

Bachelor #1:

Mark Ballas

Am I right, or am I right? He's a Dancing With the Stars pro, and we all know I'm addicted to that show. He's partnered with Kristi Yamaguchi this season, and they are blowing the competition out of the water.

I'm hoping that since he's recently broken up with his girlfriend (partner from last season, Sabrina) that he's available for private lessons....;) Ugh..did I mention he's 21??

Bachelor #2:

Adam Levine

He's the lead singer for Maroon 5. If he's not a sexy, rockstar bad-boy, I don't know who is! He's got a naughty reputation and his nickname is "shark." Lemme at 'em!

Here are some more pics of my men. Insert me into photos at appropriate places. Thnx.

Relay for Life

Today I walked the survivors lap with my mother at the ACS Relay for Life. It was really inspiring to see all these wonderful, brave people in purple t-shirts wearing the word "survivor" across their back. I was very proud of my momma.
I kicked myself for not bringing a camera, as I missed a fantastic shot of her placing her hand print on the cancer survivor's wall for the first time. We walked the lap and chatted, trying to lighten the moment so we didn't burst into tears. People lined the track clapping, which almost undid me.
We walked behind a lovely lady who had bone cancer in 1977, and has since taken to being sassy and wearing gingham Capri's. We walked a few feet away from a family who was there with their little boy, who couldn't be more than 4, wearing his purple 'survivor' shirt. I didn't talk for a bit after that. He, of course, didn't have any clue what was up. lol.
Anyway, next year, I'll be coming back to Chico to set up a 24 hour relay team with my mom, and to maybe set up a booth to sell my delish cupcakes to benefit the cause. "Cupcakes for the Cure.." nice ring to it. Probably I just stole that from someone.
So, thanks for all the support for me, while I supported her. Don't worry, I'll wait until next year to hit you up for pledges.

Loosened the Jar..

We've all been there. You might be seeking jelly for your toast, or searching for a pickle to garnish a sandwich. Millions of things come in jars, and millions of us are pissed off every day by the inability to open them ourselves. You bang on it, you twist it, you turn it upside down and smack it with your palm..and still nothing.

This is where someone else walks in and says "Here, lemme try." And wouldn't you know, that jar just pops right open. You feel you must defend your weak biceps and now reddened face so you say "I must have loosened it."

To bring this all in context, I was talking with a boy last night, and I told him I had recently learned that an ex had gotten married. Now, I have not talked to the ex in ages, and I don't actually want to. But I had to express my shock at the balls it takes for him to actually move on and get married. Didn't he read the booklet that says upon dumping me on my butt, he is obligated to realize his mistake and pine for me forever? Shouldn't he be surviving on a diet of Melba toast and diet coke, barely holding a job, all hollow eyed and murmuring about my beauty?!?!

The boy on the phone didn't get it.

"Why is that a big deal?" He asked.

"Why?!" I sputtered. " What do you mean?"

"Well, do you guys even talk anymore?"

Poor boy, he had no idea what the conversation was actually about. I tried to use the jar loosening metaphor to explain. It did not help. Being a boy, he felt it his duty to disagree with the jar loosening = man loosening logic.

(In case you aren't familiar: I don't even know what movie or show coined this..perhaps Sex in the City. But the theory goes that you can date a man forever, put up with his crap, and one day you break up. He immediately marries the next girl. You loosened him, and she popped the top. Just like a jar of pickles. )

Thinking about it, marriage wasn't the goal for the ex. In fact, that would have been a real bad idea. But I couldn't find any good way to explain to the boy that okay, maybe it's not a BIG deal, but it is a medium deal. At least. It's bad for the vanity to have to face the reality that you are not Scarlett O'Hara, leaving a trail of broken hearted gentlemen in your wake.

So while I never did convince the boy of the importance of the issue, I did convince myself that I'm way grown up by not rushing into the arms of the two men who never fail me: Ben and Jerry. This man was sooo not even worth the pints of ice cream I already consumed for him. I'll be damned if I spoon even one more fudge swirl in his honor.