Sundays are Shorter Days

Sweden

2009-08-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

I'm moving there. Immediately!
Why you ask? What does Sweden have that the good old US of A does not?
This, my friends, This.....Alexander Skarsgard. He's Eric Northman on True Blood and he is so pretty it makes my teeth hurt. Watching that show is borderline painful! They made him all brooding and sexy, a tough guy who has walls up around his tender heart. You know I can't resist that...it's like catnip for me.
"Oh, you have a sensitive side? Allow me to overlook all of your bad behavior and fall in love with you."
It goes a little something like that.
But the tank tops!
And, just when I thought I couldn't fall any more in love with an unattainable man.....I found out he was in a series called Generation Kill.
He. Wore. A. Uniform!!!Oh Geez. If you need me, I'm feeling my jaw off the floor...

The last year of my 20's!

2009-07-13T21:53:00.001-07:00

This year, instead of giving in to the panic of counting all the ways that I'm not in the place I am supposed to be ...I just went with it.
And I realized that this year, I am actually where I'm supposed to be. Maybe it's not 100 percent where I thought I was going to be, but that's okay. I'm in a pretty amazing place in life.
My friends and family are fantastic! I got wonderful, thoughtful gifts from everyone, and I got to spend time with a good portion of the important people in my life.
I am actually excited for tomorrow. My work friends are all joining me for drinks, and I know it's going to be fantastic.
For those of you I won't see...I will miss you! I am blessed to have so many fantastic friends and family that I can't possibly see you all. Don't worry, I'll drink a shot in your honor!!! Just Kidding! ;)

Unhatched chickens....

2009-06-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

I spoke too soon.
The shoes did not bring me magic. The shoes were being worn while I enjoyed a fantastic day. It happened to be punctuated by something kinda cool. Magic would have been if that something cool transferred into something amazing without any work on my part.
I know...I'm being cryptic. I don't have any intentions of telling you what's going on yet. I am ridiculously superstitious, and don't want to jinx anything. Hence the title. The chickens aren't hatched. The eggs pretty much just popped out of the hen. They are still warm...okay...metaphor taken too far. ugh.

So anyway. I had a great Thursday.

But I have to warn you. My posts may be kinda grouchy or cynical for the next two weeks. You see...my birthday is coming. I distrust my birthday. No matter how I attempt to celebrate, I somehow end up being reminded that I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be by whatever age I'm turning. I mean...that's okay. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy where I am (with a few tweaks I'd be ecstatic!) but it isn't at all what I thought I'd be doing.

So for about two weeks before each birthday, I wrestle with reality. I don't mean that I argue with it a little. It's a full on, kiddie-pool-in-the-front-yard-filled-with-jello kind of wrestling. Reality and I compete to see who is going to kick who's ass this year. Sadly, reality is a pretty amazing jello wrestler.

I am looking forward to the plans I have this year. My friends are taking me out for brunch and shopping the Sunday before, and I have Monday off of work for more shopping and some spa treatments I haven't decided on yet. I plan to walk in to the office on Tuesday with a smile, a new outfit and a pampered glow.
And if any of you see me being cranky, know that there is one cure all for my birthday blues. It's easy really...
Bring me this:Mmmm....Or one of these:That should do the trick.

Magic

2009-06-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

They worked! Sort of.....
And today I bought beautiful makeup and am totally feeling like a rockstar! Hope this feeling lasts!
Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!!!
P.S. If you're in SF...it's PRIDE Weekend!!!!! It's always crazy and fun, no matter who you are!

Power Shoes

2009-06-25T08:33:00.001-07:00

I'm wearing my power shoes today. They are magic. I don't know what makes them power shoes, but they are.
I think every woman should have a pair of shoes (or any item of clothing) that flips that switch inside them and makes them super aware of all the things that make them amazing.
For me, it's the shoes. The moment I step up into them, I am suddenly aware that I'm sexy, confident and brilliant. Granted, I am all of these things every day ;)
An ex-man of mine told me once that he could see me ruling an empire from a pair of high heels. When I wear the power shoes, I know he's right.
Today I wish you all would go to your closet and pull out your power shoes...or shirt, or earrings, or underpants. (If you don't have power panties...I suggest you get on that right away!)
I feel big things happening for all of us today.
Caio!!!

The Elusive Silver Fox

2009-05-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

My post today is inspired once again by my friend over at Hot Man Diet. She has a few delicious pics of Clooney up over there, and I was reminded how I do love a good silver fox.
This may surprise some of you, who know me to be fond of the young ones. I have in fact, been called a Cougar Cub. Apparently this is a woman who has all the traits of a Cougar, but has yet to hit the lower age qualifications. So I'm only slightly too old for the young hot thangs running all over the SF bars. Great.
But I do have a special place in my heart for the Silver Fox. Urban Dictionary defines a Silver Fox in a number of ways. My favorite? "An attractive older man with gray, white or silver hair. Anderson Cooper 'nuf said!"
I couldn't agree more. Check out those blue eyes! You know, we would have gorgeous children. Too bad I heard he is also on the hot man diet. But still....I do love it when he's pensive. Probably thinking about those beautiful babies we would have.

And because he is the ultimate Silver Fox....What is it about Clooney? The man just has that Something that makes him irresistible.
Maybe it's the wisdom around the eyes. That must be it! He knows what you're thinking, and he doesn't entirely disapprove.

And last on my list for the day is McSteamy.He's not yet a true Silver Fox, because he is just starting to grey..but damn. I hope his wife wakes up every morning and thanks God she is alive.

Seriously, who wouldn't want to find THIS in their kitchen tomorrow morning? So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm ready to move beyond the Cougar Cub status. Younger men are hot, but mama is a little past the point of being a teacher, if you know what I'm sayin.
Nothing wrong with a little wisdom and life experience. And a hot bod.
Have a lovely weekend!
XOXO

A woman after my own heart.

2009-04-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was *ahem* "working," and I found a blog that I can't believe I've lived without this long!
It's called The Hot Man Diet. I love this blog. The author is sassy and real and would likely be my best friend forever if we ever met. We share a bond over biceps, an affiliation of abs, we're bonded by buns... (okay, I'll stop)

The entire mission statement on the blog is to lose wieght by motivating yourself with the thoughts of all the hot men you can have if you don't eat that Snickers. She advocates pausing when you are about to make a poor eating decision to ask yourself "Will this help me get a hot man?" If the answer is no...walk away.
Yeah Yeah, I know there are other nutrition factors and things to think about, and I also don't want to hear that I am a beautiful, smart woman who can get a hot man no matter my size. (Well, maybe that is okay, if you must. ) Also, there will be no telling me that I don't need a man, and I'm fine on my own. I know all these things.
But the truth is, my puppies, I will be oogling these hot men anyway. I mean..you read my blog. It's all boys and cupcakes.

Go check out The Hot Man diet. If I'm slacking off on posting my usual dose of beefcake, she will happily supply. I love this blog.

Breathe in...Breathe out.

2009-04-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

It came to my attention recently that I have a very large amount of peace in my life. Sure, I often bitch about the little things...bills, boys, public transportation. But really, my life is my own. All decisions lie under my control (more or less.)
I am the person who chooses the color I want the new duvet to be. I am the person who dictates what I eat for dinner. I am the person who gives me permission to stay out late on a work night, drinking beers and commiserating with friends.
I am also the person who pays the bills. I am the person who has to get her hands on power tools to hang the curtains that go with that new duvet. I am the one who suffers bad nutrition and hangovers from her choices.
But if my future comes out anything like I hope it will, this will not always be the case. Someday, there may be someone there who cares (although minimally) about what color the duvet is. He will also be the one who hangs the curtains.
If I make the choice to eat pizza for dinner twice in one week, there may be small people missing out on servings of veggies because of it. If I am hungover, it will only make the "why" phase more painful for me.
The moral here is...I look forward to the day when my life is not only my own, but for now, it is. It is all about me, and only me. I am usually inclined to see only the curse in that, but today, I see the blessing.
So for now, I vow to ignore the guilt if I want to lay on that new duvet all day Saturday. I promise to be aware of the moments that I get now to be selfish and choose only what I want, right now.
After all, It's all about me.

Green Acres

2009-04-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

I know I'm supposed to hate the place I grew up.

I'm well aware that it can be intolerant of differences of any kind. I remember that there isn't anything to do ever. I always hated having to travel out of town to get...well, anything!

But it's hard to remember all of that when I spent the day hanging out with my Grandma and my dog. Then I went to Walmart, where everything could be found in one store, and for about $2 cheaper than anywhere in the city.

It's hard to hate it when I saw my uncle this morning and we compared tattoos standing on the lawn. Yes, a LAWN. Made of grass. Green grass. And strangely located right in front of their house.

Another thing...I wore flip flops today. My toes were so happy.

So, when I am just visiting, it's hard to remember what is so bad about this quiet little town, with all it's trees and lawns. Perhaps my senses are clouded by the sun on my toes and the soft serve ice cream I ate an hour ago in the sun.

Have a happy weekend everyone....reality will set in soon enough!

Pathetic

2009-03-31T11:33:00.000-07:00

Look, I wish I wasn't so excited about this...but I am..so deal with it.

Geez...will you look at his abs? Michael Phelps? Who?

Carbomb meets Whoopie Pie

2009-03-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

That's right friends...the two most amazing things I make.....put together.
Last night, my lovely assistant (my pink mixer) and myself whipped up a batch of Guinness whoopies with Bailey's filling.

They are going over pretty well, and I'm excited, because they are really my first 100% original recipe. It's been suggested that I submit them to the America's Best Home Cooks show on Food Network. It's being considered.

Happy St. Patty's all!!!

4,057

2009-03-11T16:03:00.000-07:00

Once, in college someone sent me a link to a website that alleged to tell you, based on your preferences, how many men you would have to meet before you met your soul mate. A Soul Mate Calculator I believe.
I remember answering the questions as truthfully as possible, wondering if I'd have to meet 2, or maybe 5. Or worst case scenario...10. I was around 23, and I think I figured it was about damn time.
The answer.....
4,057!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being me, I immediately started to attempt to define the word "met." Are we talking passing on the street? Did I have to introduce myself or would a "Do you have the time?" suffice? Or, God forbid, was the universe expecting me to go out on 4, 057 dates before I found someone who would think I was wonderful.

In true optimistic form, I decided that every man I made eye contact with counted. Even the ones that fell outside of my criteria. I'd get through 4,057 meetings in no time, and be happily wrapped in an afghan on my couch with the object of my affection by 24!

I bet you all can guess the outcome of this. Here I am, at 28, and I have just been reminded by life that I have at least 2,843 left to go. And I can no longer optimistically decide that every man under the age of 85 who glances my way at the crosswalk counts. Nope...I am starting to think that I can only count people I've had a real conversation with. This is depressing.

If you need me, I'll be eating a pint of Hagen Daaz and watching romantic comedies in my bed.

D.I.Y.

2009-03-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

I am a very self sufficient woman. I'm not the best at asking for help actually. If something is too much for me, you can usually find me cussing at it to the point of tears, stubbornly trying to bend the project to my will. I have utter confidence that these are things that I CAN do. It's just a matter of trying and trying. And trying. And maybe screaming at it a little.
So with that set up in place, let me tell you what I decided to do this weekend. I was going to wall mount my TV.
Stop laughing.
So I have already purchased a cheap wall mount from Ikea. I know this is maybe not the best place to cut corners, but I couldn't resist. So cheap! Problem is that the damn thing doesn't fit. How was I supposed to know that each TV manufacturer hatched a plan to put their screw holes in different places. I can just imagine some weaselly guy in a suit somewhere, rubbing his bony fingered hands together in anticipation of the frustration he would cause.
So I discover that you can get an adapter. Someone at the Radio Shack near my office tells me that it's a really simple thing if I know the model of my TV.
Friday I ran into Radio Shack in my own neighborhood. Just a quick trip, because I know what I want. But they don't carry adapters. He tries to talk me into an entirely different wall mount. I get kind of upset, because he's talking to me like I'm an idiot. Clearly because I do not possess a Y chromosome, I can't know what I'm talking about in relation to home improvement or electronics. Certainly not in an area where the two cross over.
But I buy the thing. He assures me that it swivels and tilts and is everything my old one was, and it will fit my TV because it is universal. I figure he must know what he's talking about if he works in an electronic store.
Stop laughing.
I was also proud of myself for not punching him in the face when he was ringing up my purchase and explaining that inside the walls, there is insulation, and things called studs. I know he was trying to be nice...but come on jackass. Who doesn't know that walls are not made of jello and have actual supports in them.
Next I stopped by the hardware store, where I was going to pick up a stud finder and an electric screwdriver. I honestly did not know that this would not drive the screws in unless there was a hole there already. The guy who explained that did so in a voice that suggested that he thought I was either retarded, or did not speak English. And that I was violent. He carefully removed the screwdriver from my hands saying "ooh, I'm going to take this from you now...and I'm just going to put it over here. " Okay guy. I won't drive it into your eye.
So, stud finder, hammer, screws, anchors and a wall mount in hand, I go back to my apartment. I had an assignment to go to a new store for a drill. I COULD do this.
And then I discovered that the wall mount was not what I wanted. Not at all. It didn't swivel, and that means that due to how my room is set up, I'd have to sit in the corner to watch TV. Ideal.
I realize this is dragging on...but it's unbelievable. I went to Best Buy the next day at 9. They open at 10, even though the website said 9. I waited. I finally bought a swiveling, tilting wall mount that fits the screw holes in my TV. The guy didn't talk down to me. I spent twice as much as I intended. But I got an open box deal, so it was good. I get it home, and decide that after the cable guy comes (somewhere between 12-2) I'd go get a drill. I was actually hoping that he might do the installation for me at this point. I opened the box to start putting it together. screws? Check. TV attaching plate? Check. Swivel arm? Check. Instruction manual? um...where the hell is the manual?!?!? Oh Christ.
By the way....the cable guy finally showed up at 3:45.
Screw DIY. Next time, I'm hiring a dude.

Late baking

2009-02-19T11:23:00.000-08:00

I am so behind on posting cupcakes and baking projects!! There are unicorns and farm animal cupcake pics on the way!!

Mr. Perfect

2009-02-18T21:29:00.000-08:00

As you can tell, there is a current streak of man craziness running through my life. I can't help it. I don't know if you've noticed, but they are EVERYWHERE!

I was talking to my friend a while ago, and we decided that Hollywood gives women really unrealistic expectations about men. Think about it. Name one romantic comedy that could actually happen. With a man that looks like they do, no less.

In the interest of science (and in the case that anyone is still reading this) I have decided to identify the men that most appeal to me in movies, and then blame them for my unrealistic expectations.

First up, let's go back to my childhood.

Wesley (Princess Bride)
This is my version of the handsome prince. He gave me the expectation that it's possible for a perfectly ordinary man you have known all your life to suddenly become the soul mate you didn't know you had. All he has to do get noticed is to take over a pirate ship, become immune to poison, fight 3 bad guys to rescue you, befriend them, come back from the dead and scare the crap out of your new boyfriend. Simple.

Johnny (Dirty Dancing)
He's the reason I'm waiting for some experienced older man to see some spark of uniqueness in me, despite the fact that I'm surrounded by model-gorgeous professional dancers. He'll teach me to dance, take me out in the woods in the rain and then kindly let me clumsily seduce him. As I get older, this goes from unlikely to absolutely ridiculous.

In college I discovered:

Jonathan Trager (Serendipity)
Here is a man that will live his whole life trying to find the woman he thinks is his destiny. Just when he gives in and lets life happen, she shows up. He made me wish my freckles were in the shape of constellations. He made me sure I could miss an opportunity with a man, and that fate would bring him right back to me later in life. He made me read "Love in a Time of Cholera."
He's also responsible for one of my favorite movie quotes:
"How do you feel?"
"Like a Jackass!"

Crash Davis (Bull Durham)
Whoo..do I ever have a bone to pick with Crash Davis. Poor Annie is busy deluding herself into thinking her life is full with baseball and teaching young men the ways of the world, and here he comes, well read and confident, quietly sexy. Damn him. She didn't even know what she was missing. I think I will live out the rest of my single life waiting for my Crash Davis. (There are some seriously wonderful quotes in this movie too. "Oh Crash, You do make speeches.")

And most recently, I'm a little ashamed to admit:

Edward Cullen (Twilight)
Alright, I get it that he's a vampire. But tell me ladies, what isn't sexy about a man who finds you so irresistible that he can not stay away from you, even if it might be the worst thing for you both? And some of the best 'not-bloody-likely' moments happen in the rest of the books, so just you wait until that hits the big screen.

Some who may not play key roles in my delusion, but don't really help it out either:

James Bond and Jason Bourne (Multiple films)
They're dangerous, sexy and keep the world safe from the bad guys.

Prime Minister (Love Actually)

He's into her even if she isn't everyone's idea of perfect, and he's got a lovely accent.

Will Hayes (Definitely, Maybe)
Thank you Ryan Reynolds for making single dads glamorous and sexy.

So, in closing, isn't it shocking that I am still single? There must be dozens of wise, confident, pirate captain vampires who are ballroom dancing their way through San Francisco, fighting bad guys and using English accents.

If you meet one, introduce me.

Oh, and.....

2009-02-07T21:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a hot guy for you.

Looking for love...reluctantly.

2009-02-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, a dear friend and I were discussing the complete lack of suitable men who spend their time at bars in San Francisco. We compared stories, (which took a while) and decided that San Francisco is a modern day Never-Never Land. The bars are a swimming with Peter Pan wannabes, in whatever flavor you could ask for. Depending on the district, you can find men who wear skin tight pants, men who spend more money at Banana Republic than you ever will, men who just came to our country because they heard you never had to grow up, and men who like other men who never grew up.
Fed up with the whole charade, we took a look at Match.com. Because, as their slogan says, "It's okay to look." And look we did! These were an entirely new breed of the male species. There were doctors, lawyers, environmental engineers. They had hobbies like hiking, and going to museums. They traveled. They READ BOOKS!!!
So the following weekend, in a fit of alone-ness, I signed up. I wrote what I thought was a thoughtful, witty profile, and searched for pictures that were both recent and flattering. This was no easy job, my friends.
The first few days, I was actually pretty excited. I had a whole new pool of doctors who read books and wanted to take me on dates to museums. This was what I had in mind when I thought of dating in the city.
But it turns out, as many things do, that Match.com is not all sunshine and roses...or lawyers and engineers if you will. There are also people who know all the lines from the Lord of the Rings movies. And guys who tell you up front that eating meat is a deadly sin. (To be fair, it is San Francisco.)
And best of all, there are guys who shop at banana republic, guys who wear skinny jeans, and guys who don't want to grow up. In other words. It's just like the bars. It's like someone went down the Marina district and digitized about 7 bars full of douche bags.
So, I've been a member for a month now, and all I have to show for it are good stories. Which I could have gotten at the bar, and at least I'd get a few Vodka-Tonics out of the deal.
So I plan to run away from this as soon as my membership is up...but what I didn't read in the fine print, is that if you don't cancel, they just keep charging you. So I got charged for a new month, and tried my hardest to reverse it. The girl on the phone cheerfully informed me of the fine print of the contract, told me she can't give my money back, and then gave me some helpful dating tips. Have a nice day!
So I'm stuck in this adventure for another month. Stay tuned for the misadventures of my life as an online dater. If I'm not likely to find someone to date, at least I can mine the experience for blogging fun.

My Fickle Heart.

2008-12-04T19:55:00.000-08:00

I have a new celebrity crush. What does that make, like 10?!? What kind of crazed, man-oogling spinster have I become??
The kind who likes this guy:He's Bradley Cooper, in case you didn't know, and he's been under my radar. But apparently in tons of movies. He was the jerk boyfriend in Wedding Crashers, I guess he was in Iron Man, which I didn't see (but might just have to pick up now..) and he was also on Alias back in the day.
He's going to be in two new movies: Yes Man, and He's Just Not That Into You.
Check out those eyes...yum.

What's that Bradley, it's time for my bath?

Gotta run....Ciao for now.

Solicitation...

2008-11-20T20:33:00.000-08:00

Of advice. Pervs.

There are two things weighing on my mind right about now. Help.

1. My office Christmas party is coming up. Should I go alone, or bring a date? And where will I find this date? Anyone have any single friends who would be fun at a party, look good in a jacket and tie, and aren't going to try to grope me after free martinis at the open bar?

2. I am thinking of signing up for the Avon Walk for the Cure. I am terrified of it. Training starts after the holidays, and you have to raise $1800. Oh, and walk two days and something like 30 miles. I know!!!! 30. three-zero. But I feel like it would really help me get in shape, and make me feel like I really did something good. I can't do it alone. Who's with me?!?!

Okay, please shape my life, as I am incapable of making my own decisions.
Thanks.

Shameful!

2008-11-20T20:19:00.000-08:00

It is truely shocking that I have left you all for an entire month without my particular brand of wit!

What. a. jerk.

So let's catch up. Since we last talked, I've been hitting the town with my new partner in crime, Kelly. She's really the only other single girl I know, so we find ourselves out and about quite a bit.

What else? I cheered myself hoarse over our new president. I am so proud of our country I could just about pee. However, I did lose a friend over it. At about the 5th email I got from her detailing what a poor choice it was, and how he wasn't her president, and how we would all be sorry when we had to wear socialist uniforms every day...I told her that she had made her point, and could we move on? She was offended. But I suppose I don't really need a lot of friends who can't have a two way conversation about touchy subjects.
I met two boys whom I hoped might be fun to get to know, and both let me down by being typical boys. For all of you who urged me to date men my own age or older....it isn't impressing me much. At least when they are 23, I expect a little idiocy.
Ahh, I learned a new term "Cougar Cub." This is where you are an older woman, but not yet 35, and are hot enough to potentially date much younger men. Fun, huh? I'm told I don't qualify until at least 29, but hey, something to look forward to.
Okay, I admit to having saved my most recent excitement for last....I won something!!!
I left a comment on pioneer woman's blog, and won a Kitchenaid mixer! I got confirmation today that it will be on it's way, and guess what?!?!?! It's PINK! Chosen because I dig pink, and because the sale of all the pink ones benefits breast cancer research.
I will take it's picture when I get it. Yeah!!! What should I make first?

Feel Your Boobies!!

2008-10-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

Ladies, (and Gents for that matter)
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I'm sure you have all realized this by now, and hopefully some of you are wearing ribbons, buying products that fund raise for the cure, and feeling yourselves up on a regular basis.
I thought I would chime in with a few more suggestions.
Have you heard of Army of Women?
Army of Women.org is a website attempting to sign up 1 million women for studies about breast health. See, in the past, all studies have been conducted on women who are already sick. And while that gives rise to amazing treatment options and possibilities for cure research, it doesn't help us learn about how to prevent breast cancer.
A lot of the studies are held in major cities, but some have mail in kits, so you can get all the materials in the mail and send it in. I signed up, and now get an email when a study comes up that I qualify for.
Props to Starla for bringing it to my attention.
Also, There are untold number of events going on this month. Bake sales, marathons, fundraising parties. Get involved with one of those...make some boobies cupcakes...you know I would.

I am taking this year as a time to find out about these things, and to get ready and train for next year. My mom and I will be walking in the Relay for Life this year, if everything goes well, and we'd love more team mates. Also, I am thinking next year of walking the Komen for the Cure walk, which is 3 days, and 60 miles. I will need all of your love, support, and fundraising help.

This cause suddenly means a lot to me, for obvious reasons. While my mom may have had to give up her boobs for her health, I don't intend to follow her down that path. Take care of your health, ask your insurance if they cover testing for the breast cancer gene. Find out if you are having the best breast exams for your tissue type. Pay attention to your risk factors, and be an advocate for your own safety.
There are only 15 days left in October. What can you accomplish?

Registration!!!!

2008-10-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, it seems like registration is a theme in my life right now. I am trying to get my students to register for classes, I even messed up my checking account because I wasn't doing a good job keeping my register...okay, that's a stretch. But I'm trying to get into what I really want to say and that's......
Register to Vote!!!

Seriously, it's a big deal. I know that there are always things said about registering, and maybe you don't want to vote because you think it won't help. Maybe you're planning to vote but you haven't registered because you just moved..etc, etc.
Deadline to register is OCTOBER 20!

How do I register, you might say...well here you go:
http://justvoteorg.googlepages.com/home?gclid=CKjKz_OpiZYCFQQCagodl0GdEQ

It's a link. Click it. You can always come back here, but do it while you're thinking of it. Do you know someone else you can harass into registering? Send it to them. Or to the 1000 other websites trying to register peeps right now.
And I know, maybe we don't share a common outlook on politics..and I'm okay with that. I just think that everyone should learn about their candidate, and take voting as serious as possible. Because not to sound condescending, but isn't the fate of our health care system important? If not now, how will you feel about it when you can't buy your medicine at 80? And what about your children's chances to own a home or go to college? Big stuff.
So I'd better hear that you are all registered. And voting...intelligently.
XOXO

Relationship Jewelry.

2008-08-25T17:08:00.001-07:00

Do you have any old jewelry from an old relationship that you just can't bear to part with? You don't wear it, it just sits there in the bottom of your jewelry box, staring at you. Making you wonder what you're so damn sentimental about. Making you superstitious to wear it in case it is infected with bad relationship juice. Okay..maybe too far.

But here's the deal. I have this bracelet from my ex. It's really pretty, white gold and tanzanite. I love love loved it when he gave it to me. I wore it all the time. Good memories. Because I wore it all the time, he used to yell at me when it poked or scratched him in bed. Bad memories.

Yet I still have the thing. It's the last thing he gave me that I still own. Well, almost, but his fraternity letters remind me of college, and my friends, not really of him. What a jerk I am.
I wore it today. The bracelet, not the frat letters. I made the bold move to spit in the face of my superstitious nonsense and wore it. And I was all sentimental about it for an hour. I kept looking at how delicate and pretty it is. I remembered how happy I was when he gave it to me.

Then I started typing, and it started digging into my arm and being annoying. So I remembered how our relationship did that...look pretty, and then start digging in.

Now, it's the end of the day, and I'm totally over it. It's hurting me, I feel confined by it, and I can't wait to get it off. Funny how symbolic it is of the entire relationship.

So I decided to pawn it. How heartless is that? But at this moment, I don't ever want to wear it again. And what, I'm going to save it for the children I have with another man? I think not.
Nope, this bracelet is at least 1/3 of my new fantastic big girl bed. And when I sleep on it, I'll think of how far I've come.
It'll be the best thing he ever gave me.

The list

2008-08-19T09:38:00.001-07:00

I started a post about how I'm currently wallowing in self pity..I actually got pretty far. But I'm terrible at wallowing. I simply cannot be negative for longer than an hour. I can start out feeling really sorry for myself, and without even trying, it turns itself into a resolve to do what it takes to make myself not feel this way.
Right now, that means telling all of you what is fantastic in my life.
1. My job is great. It's not easy, but I work with a group of good people, and one of my co-workers makes me struggle not to pee my pants laughing at least once per day.
2. I just got a fantastic new apartment! It's got a nice big bedroom, it's in a great area of the city, and my new roommate seems pretty great. And she's got a sweet cat, so I get someone to snuggle!
3. I'm finally in a place where there are things to do. If I want to go to a movie, I can just go. If I want to go out for a drink, woo hoo. If I want ice cream at 11 pm, chances are good that I can do that too.
4. I just joined a gym. I'm intimidated/excited about it. I have a personal trainer! How cool is that?
5. My best friends are just that. The best! I could not have revamped my life without them. They are always here for me, and each of them knows what to do in my different times of need. Thanks to Sarah W for kicking my ass last night. I needed a little tough love.

So I've got a lot going for me. Stay tuned for "The List" part 2, where I will detail all the things that I'm looking for in Mr. Perfect. Based not only on my own experience, but on the general discussion of stupid boy things going on in my office.
Ciao!

Gold Medal in Nerdyness

2008-08-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

So I've become an Olympics Nerd. How can you not? Besides the fact that I've been staying up way too late to watch. The gymnasts are fantastic. I'm facinated by men's gymnastics. And not just because they have rockin bodies either. Their routines are out of control!
I do think though, that this guy gets the overall badass award for the entire summer games.
If you don't know who that is, you've obviously been living under a rock. So he keeps blowing world records away by entire body lengths! My fave moment of the whole week was during a qualifier for some race or other, and Phelps finishes first with enough time to turn around, stand up, and grin while the other dudes finish. BADASS!
One thing...this guy's hotter.
Just Sayin.
If you need me, I'll be glued to the TV.

I miss my fluffy dog!

2008-08-10T11:25:00.001-07:00

Incredibaby

2008-08-10T11:21:00.001-07:00

House-Zilla.

2008-08-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

That's my city. It's beautiful. I moved here thinking I'd regularly view sunsets over the buildings, that I'd be near the water all the time, that I'd be Mary Tyler Moore.
This is not the way it's working out. My job is still fantastic. I'm settling in and everyone is very nice. My students are limiting themselves to easy questions for now, and I'm gearing up for the huge trial by fire that is the fall semester.
But I can't find an apartment. To be fair, I haven't been looking too long, but I'm already discouraged. I cannot afford to live alone. I wish I could. Imagine all the space! All to myself!
I seem to be the only normal, well adjusted human being under the age of 40 in this city. Is it too much to ask for these qualities in a roommate?

No smoking weed. Okay, if your college buddy is here from L.A, and you guys are out at a concert and 'Dude, it's cool man' then whatever. But I am not "420 Friendly." Pot and I have never been friends. I just don't want my living room to be one continuous loop of the basement of "That 70's Show"
Does not have a problem with 'the man.' I work for the man. He pays my bills. Someone has to. I don't see you making a ton of money with your vegan, non-profit, holistic, free-trade yarn spinning business. Just sayin.
Watches TV. Or at the very least does not think it's unacceptable for me to do so. It's Grey's Anatomy. Of course it's rotting my brain. So is my job. Lay off.
Lives in an apartment with a common area. Like Sarah W said, "What if you bring a date home? Do you just go immediately to the bedroom?" Lesson here? Not watching TV leads to casual sex.
Eats meat. I know, lots of people are vegetarians, and that's fine, but when it gets to the point that you have to own your own pots and pans because flesh shall not touch anything that touches your pristine free trade, organic, hand picked, farmers market veggies....Get over yourself.
Apartment does not require me to get raped, mugged and murdered trying to catch a bus home. I mean, is it too much to ask for homegirl to spend an entire 5 minutes not feeling like she should be toting 7 knives and a gallon of mase?
Costs less than $800 per month. What is the world coming to when half your monthly paycheck is taken up by the rent in your skeevy apartment that share with granola hippies who don't watch TV and are always high, and you barely make rent because you are getting mugged every week on the way home?

So am I too high maintenance here? I work with a large group of very respectable young women. I know they exist. Or dudes for that matter. I don't care. Where are the normal people? I'm starting a support group for all of us well adjusted kids floating in a sea of veggie eating, smelly granola hippies.
Call me naive, but I didn't think it would be this bad. Mary Tyler Moore did it....

What happens in San Francisco.....

2008-07-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

....ends up all over my blog.
Fez and his friends were up visiting the bay area this week. They toured all the scary parts, and are now solidly afraid of San Francisco.
We started out on Sunday in Napa, drinking wine and being silly. Went tasting at a few places, then ended up at a place that had a picnic area, playing 'two truths and a lie' and learning way too much about each other. Here's some evidence:
I was pretty thirsty.
Story time with Uncle Alex.

Fez know's all about wine snobbery.

That's Corby's sexy face. No, really.

Here's a series of shots Corby took to advertise that A. The place we were at was pretty fun. and B. Corby is pretty cool.

Serious:
Pensive:
Grr , Baby, very Grr. Then on Monday, they kidnapped me from work. Actually, Fez just made me think there was a matter of great urgency, so I'm briskly walking down Market to find out that they are just done hanging out at the mall. Poops.
We were catching a bus to the Mission, to have burritos, margaritas and a good time. The plan was to then ride the bart home at about 11.
The fun all started with the bus ride. Some crazy lady hit Fez with a folder and then they started arguing. She was threatening to kill him and everyone on the bus was ready for us to get out. When we got to our stop, this guy in the front goes. "This is your stop kids. You ain't got to go home, but you gotta get the hell offa here." Ridiculous.
So we go eat dinner, drink too many beers and go to a bar. I think this is a fantastic idea...but I was already feeling good.
We went to a great bar. It had video screens at the bar, great music and a fun dance floor. I only came away with a few pics, because I was very busy dancing, smoking a cigarette that I didn't need or want, and flirting with Fez. Here's two.
A cute pic of the boys.
Again, totally parched.
Rest of the week was mellow. Fez and I were both so wiped out after our big monday night that we didn't hang out Tuesday. I just tried to catch up my sleep. Wednesday we stayed in the city and forgot to sleep, since we were busy watching that 'Sarah Marshall' movie and talking about everything.
Fez went home Thursday, and I was bummed. I hadn't seen him in 3 years, and here comes another 6 months or so that we can't hang out. I don't think the world can handle us both in one place. Our wonderfulness just has to be spread around.
This coming week:
-The baby's 1st birthday. Go Cake!
-My gramma's 86th birthday. Go Gram!
-Happy hour with the girls. Go me!!

Bat-Men are pigs.

2008-07-22T17:12:00.001-07:00

So I just found out that Batman was arrested for beating his mom and sister in Wales. What the french, toast? I would like to reserve the right to use this example for later emphasis about pretty boys being awful. Just sayin.

Mrs. Batman.

2008-07-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

So I went to see Dark Knight last night. First of all, the movie is really good. Yeah, it was hyped a lot..but it's not too full of things being blown up..though they are there, and it's got some great lines. It had me cracked up and creeped out at the same time.

Also, You should know that I'm in love with Christian Bale. Shockingly, I never really bothered with him before. Perhaps it's his penchant for strange roles (American Psycho) or his previous shaggy facial hair.

But there's something about a man in a superhero role. It's that rebel with a cause thing. It's bad boy and good boy all mixed together. It's like finding out your nerdy neighbor who works as a computer programmer is a secret weight trainer with tatoos. Hot.

I draw your attention to the Batman lips.
Every dude who has been batman has a lovely mouth. And it's all a similar mouth type. Those casting guys are clever.

This guy was also amazing. I loved the creepo factor that he brought into it. The Joker is so not cartoony in this movie. He's like some crazy dude that lurks in the city...he could totally get you. Scary. Seriously, he does this licking his lips thing that disturbed me on a level I cannot even name. Heath Ledger- best role ever.

Enough about scary...I'll leave you with some eye candy.Here he is running down the steps of our newlywed home.

He's so smirky. I love it.

Birthday Blogging

2008-07-14T09:04:00.001-07:00

So there are a few more than sixteen candles on my cake today. But so far, so good for turning 28. It feels good....28 could be the new 23...guess we'll have to see.

So as much fun as I'm bound to have today, I'll never top last year. On my birthday, I spent all day wandering Rome, eating Gelato and gazing at fountains. That night we drank too much wine, ate pasta and flirted with waiters.
When I got home the next day, I was greeted with this:

What happens when boys have speedos and too much time on their hands? They devise 'happy brithday' strip shows, that's what! Check out those tan lines!!
So this year, I ate a yummy cookie, am going to do a little shopping, and hopefully relax.
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!!

Shoutout #2: Uncommon Goods

2008-07-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

Holy Canoli!! It's Sunday. And I'm posting a shoutout. Can you believe it?? Neither can I. Starla's dad is here for the weekend, so other than messing with the sleeping arrangements, it is allowing me a good amount of time by myself to collect my thoughts. Right now they are off at a Sake factory, taking a tour.
So Uncommon Goods. It's a super fun online store I found about a year ago. They have really unique gifts for just about anyone you can think of. Certainly stuff you aren't going to find anywhere else. You can search the site by event that the gift is for, such as a wedding, or who it's for, such as 'For Him.' Or, you can look through the entire website and increase your wish list. Here are a few of my favorite things:

And don't worry..I've linked each thing for you if you suddenly feel the urge to buy one. But I saved the best for last...the kid stuff is so fantastic that it makes me want to have one just so I could buy it this stuff!!! Here you go, get your 'awww' s ready.Happy shopping! (Or wishing..that's just as fun!)

Boys are weaksauce.

2008-07-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

I just got off the morning train ride into the city. It isn't one of my favorite parts of the day. No matter what the temp outside, the train is sweltering with body heat. Why bother ironing, I promise that you'll just get off BART with the wrinkles steamed right back in. This time, with stinky people heat..good luck getting that out.
Anyway, I was sitting near two guys and was of course, eavesdropping. I originally started to listen in because one guy was cute. He had a whole Matt Damon thing going on. He wasn't spectacular until he smiled...and then woah..here come the dimples. Anyway, I noticed they were talking about relationships.
Matt was counseling his roommate on what is going on in that guy's life with his girlfriend. Guy # 2 was all angsty because his girlfriend told him she wanted to see other people. He wasn't the best looking dude...kinda nerdy in a sweet way. His mommy probably still washes his underpants. That kinda guy.
So Guy 2 tells Matt that girlfriend tells him she wants to date other people..and he says "Well, go ahead, there's nothing I can do about it. " And then girlfriend got mad at him.
First of all..have a spine. There is something you can do. Tell her no. Tell her that you're such good stuff that you won't wait around. If she wants to date other people..cool. Tell her you will too. And then it comes out that they haven't even been dating long.
uggh.
Then he goes "I don't have any power. I don't want any really, but I don't want her to just use me like this."
OMG. I felt like I was listening in on some teenage girl. But it gets better. Cute, Matt Damon guy says "Dude, I don't have any power in my relationship. She's way too emotionally unstable for me to take any control."
WHHhhhaaaaaaTTT????
What is the world coming to when boys who look like movie stars are dating girls with emotional issues?!? Because they have to or something.
Boys these days need a kick in the pants. Don't they get it that nice boys are valuable these days? I don't even like overconfident boys. Give me a nice, Matt Damon boy any day.
So, just before we get off the train, Matt looks at Guy 2 and asks "Are you seeing her this weekend?" and Dude says..."yeah."

This work stuff is hard.

2008-06-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

No..not really. Yet.
My new job is fantastic, and I'm learning a lot already. Today was day 2. I have tons to learn, but I'm really loving it all. I'm geeking out on the policies and even wanted to bring homework home, but it's not encouraged. Which is rad, because it's the easiest way to avoid burnout.
So I'm sorry there hasn't been my usual amount of fun stuffs...but I promise a good Sunday Shoutout of a place I like to shop. Look for it Sunday night.
Also...maybe Monday you'll get pics of my day at the Gay Pride festival in San Francisco this weekend. I hear there's all manner of silliness going on, and that there's tons of great food.
XOXO

The seed of a blog...

2008-06-20T16:38:00.001-07:00

Picture this:
Three beautiful women. stranded for 3 months on a tropical island full of gorgeous Marines...Sounds great, right? That was my life during the summer of '04. I lived and worked on the gorgeous island of Okinawa, being a camp counselor for the military children on base.
That was where I met the love of my life...Patty. She and Megs and I were pretty inseparable the entire summer. We worked all week, played hard on the weekends, and broke as many hearts as we could.
In Patty's case..that was many. That girl has some high standards for men..and you can bet that Marines who haven't talked to a girl in months aren't going to do a good job of meeting those requirements. Poor things. It was like a bug zapper. Some confident young thing would come sauntering over (whoo, that's a good word!) and offer to buy Patty a drink...she'd let him, mostly because we'd yell at her if she turned down a free drink from a hot boy. But then the poor sucker would hang himself with his own rope. He's touch her. That's all it took...our Patty is fiercely protective of her own self, and she was not having this overly familiar touching.
She's level a look at him and say (very calmly) "Why are you touching me?" You can guess that this had the effect of a bucket of ice water on the confidence of the poor boy..and he'd slink off to lick his wounds. Don't get me wrong, she isn't a meanie..she just expects a higher level of courtesy and respect than most girls our age...and it throws the poor boys for a loop.
Anyway...our usual schedule on a weekend was to have dinner in our room Friday night. We all took showers, powdered, lotioned and poofed our hair. This takes Patty a lot longer than the rest of us. We'd head down to the Banyan Tree, which was the enlisted club on base. We called it the Bangin' Tree...and we still think that's super funny. We'd dance all night, usually with the group of Texas boys we met, and sometimes head to all night bowling after. We'd pour ourselves in bed around sunrise, only to crawl back out around noon the next day.
Saturday was 'Gate 2' night. The street just outside the base gate 2 was notorious...for all the reasons you can expect in a tropical island full of young men. We got gorgeous and wandered our way from bar to bar..having a great time, and again pouring ourselves into bed at sunrise. Sunday, around noon, my bedside phone would ring and Patty would say "Champagne brunch." We'd make ourselves barely presentable and head to the officers club, where nothing fun ever happened except champagne brunch. We'd drink, eat too much, and wander home around 2.
This is where the story is going folks. To Sunday afternoon. We'd pick someones room and lay across the beds, chatting, watching Top Gun for the 57th time, and whining about how the weekend was over. It was on one of these occasions that I said..."You guys...Sundays are just shorter days."
Even as I said it, I knew it was the gospel truth. No matter how great your job is, or how well spent the weekend...you'll always hit Sunday night with a touch of regret. Think of the items yet uncrossed off the to-do list. Think of the parties you went to..and the ones you skipped. So now...I expect it. I'm ready for the Sunday lull. I turn and face it with a fly swatter in one hand and a margarita in the other. Bring it on Sunday...I'm already planning the next weekend!

Career Woman!

2008-06-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

It's official. I've been sitting on this news for like a week.
I am the new Student Affairs Advocate for the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. Can you believe it!?!?!
I had such a great interview there on Thursday, and got the unofficial job offer that very day. But you know me, I'm such a superstitious kid that I didn't want to tell a bunch of people until it really happened! If you were among the told, it was likely that I couldn't get away with keeping it from you. Like my mom..there's no lying to Mom. And Patty asked me so many questions about the interview that I would have had to be an expert at surviving pants fires to keep it from her.
I'm sorry to say this means that I will no longer be in the Sarah Parkerson book club. She's going to be pissed. She'll have to carry the discussions herself. Myself, her cousin Amy, and Sarah are the only big talkers in the group. The other ladies will chime in, but they aren't topic starters.
So now I've got many more things to work out..such as--
What will I wear to work?!?!?

Sunday's are longer days

2008-06-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

No post this Sunday for 2 reasons:
1. I was working a temp conference this weekend. I registered doctors for symposiums. Sounds great, eh? It actually wasn't bad. I met a group of people from Montreal that were super nice. I swear..those guys should give lessons to the American guys. My chair was pulled out for me, my hands were warmed when I was freezing..and there was not a thing creepy or pick-up-ish about it. It was nice to interact with boys again. lol. It's been a while since I've been able to flirt, even innocently.
But Sunday I was at the convention center from 5:45 am until 5 pm. So no post.

2. I don't think the Shout out is going to work. I sent emails to peeps I liked, and wanted to shout out..and only Bakerella sent it back. I officially have no interview material for you. Perhaps I'll have to give up my dream of knowing who everyone's weird celebrity crush is. It may become a bit more general...next week I'll just review one of my favorite online shopping destinations. Hmm...

Hope everyone's weekend was great!

Cupcakes

2008-06-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

I knew I needed to bake some cupcakes, since I had been slacking on posting any kind of yummies on my blog.
So I got this great idea from Hello, Cupcake. They have sharks that are made of Twinkies, bursting out of oceany cupcakes. I got to thinking...what else can you make from Twinkies. The answer was whales, hippos and airplanes.

I also tried fish, with Necco wafer scales..but it didn't work out to my liking.
For the whales, I used sticks of gum to make the spouts.

Don't they have the sweetest faces?

The airplanes were a ton of work. They have Mike and Ike propellers and chocolate bar wings...but I failed to think of the heat..so the wings fell off shortly after taking the photos. But they really look so cute that I'm going to have to come up with some other solution.

Close up:

And then there were the hippos. I had the best intentions. I gave them m&m eyes, Tic Tac teeth, and little piped purple ears.

It reminds me of these guys:
This dude was cute though:

So now, I am going to eat one. After I have lunch of course! (Maybe) Check back later in the week for the story of how my blog got it's name. For now, here's the cutest thing you'll ever eat in your life:

Sunday Shoutout: Bakerella!

2008-06-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Alright, so it's Sunday night...but it's still Sunday. I know you've all been wondering if I was going to put up or shut up this Sunday, and finally do a Shoutout. Well, to tell you the truth..I almost shut up... it is 9:30 already.

Funny thing is, I almost wrote this post ahead of time and just set it to post this morning. But I was all idealistic about it, arguing with myself that you all deserved a fresh from the brain Sunday post. Hmm, that will teach me to be uppity.

I happen to think I have a legit excuse this time for my distraction....but I'll tell you later.

Now...on to my shoutout!

I have been reading Bakerella's fantastic blog for a while now. She has the best ideas! She's become rather famous lately, having been on the Martha Stewart show during cupcake week. Also, everyone else must be obsessively checking her blog because if I happen to stop over at any of the other cupcake related sites that I read before looking at hers...there it is: a big fat spoiler!

I'm probably the least fancy blog to ever feature her. But that didn't stop her from being super nice and filling out my silly survey!

Anyways, I totally got the inspiration for my hostess cupcakes from her, and she's fantastic. I'd for sure invite her to a cocktail party. Perhaps she'd like to come over and join in this summer's fun plan with Starla and I. We can be found in lawn chairs in her parking lot/backyard area sticking our feet in the kiddie pool while drinking daiquiris. Classy.

Here are some pics of her darling projects this year, followed by the previously mentioned quick-question interview. Go by and check her out. Bakerella. She's inspiring.

Adorable reindeer cupcakes:

Snowmen (actually, Snow-people...) that are way to cute for eating!

The infamous, and much copied, cupcake pops:

These are going to have to be my next project..Oreo truffles! These are her valentine kisses:

And all the fame hasn't even gone to her head! Here's her survey:

Question #1: What made you decide to start blogging?

I wanted somewhere to keep track of my baking as I learn.

Question #2: Describe your perfect Sunday.

Today, I would say, waking up and then laying back down for a long nap.

Question #3: What's your favorite cupcake?

Any as long as they are really moist.

Question #4: What's the best book you've read this year?

Hello, Cupcake!

Question #5: Who is your 'weird celebrity crush?'

Robert Downey, Jr.

(Not so weird..he's kinda hunky. I guess there was that whole addiction thing....which is sadly not weird in Hollywood anymore)

So there's your very first Sunday Shoutout! I hope everyone liked it. If you have any burning questions to add to the survey, please let me know. (I'm personally a fan of the celebrity crush question. It's slightly gossip gathering, don'tcha think?)

Thanks again to Bakerella for humoring me and my tiny blog!

Also....

2008-06-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

I love these!

The Cookie Theory

2008-06-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

I made some chocolate chip cookies!

Sorry for the blurry picture. I guess I was really excited to eat one.

(Check out my Football Club Kaiserslautern cup! I got it at my first and only German soccer game. They were like baseball cards...full of beer.)

Anyway, so I thought that on the occasion of baking cookies, I should tell you all about the cookie theory.

It all started in college. Honestly, I don't remember the day I first said it, but I instantly knew it was fact. Every woman I shared it with started out laughing, but by the end..it makes perfect sense.

I determined that I like my cookies just like I like my men. Now, before we all get pervy...this is personality we are talking about ladies. Geez, I'm gunna turn the hose on you guys.

Just like with men, a cookie's looks can be deceiving. Who hasn't accepted a beautiful cookie from a fancy plate, only to discover it isn't as tasty as it looks? Or, what about those horrible looking little rock cookies that are delicious?

For my purposes, I like to think of my men as chocolate chip cookies.

They should be a little crunchy around the edges, but not too hard. That makes it too tough to enjoy them.

They should be soft in the center, but not all gooey. That will for sure make you sick.

I like to think of the chips as the sweet things they do for you.

Too many sweet bits and it gets a bit overwhelming. I mean, just how much sweet can one woman take?

Not enough chips makes you feel cheated. Everyone else's cookie seems to have sweet bits...where are yours?

So I suppose this points out that I'm looking for that perfectly balanced man..or cookie.

I think this applies to our behavior with cookies/men also. A girl should not have too many...they lose their excitement and leave you feeling guilty about the number. And I think you shouldn't have too few cookies either. I'm not saying it's not okay to be a one cookie/man kinda girl...but every cookie is different too...

Once you find that perfect cookie/man, you're satisfied, and you couldn't ask for another thing. Then it's your turn to break out the smug and dust the crumbs off your fingers.

Think about it.

Is it Tuesday already?!?

2008-06-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

So I have yet to do a Sunday Shoutout. I didn't even do one the Sunday I announced that I'd be doing them. It is one of those situations that I (often) find myself in, where I have envisioned something wonderful, and find myself unable or unwilling to put in the effort. I mean, shouldn't beautiful things just spring into creation once I have thought them up?

Enough of my God complex there, here's the story:

I want to have a really good feature here. I want to find businesses or websites that I love and do a mini interview with the person in charge. So far, I'm stuck trying to write the interview. I have one questions done. NO, I'm not going to tell you what it is. Wait...I just thought of a new one...that makes 2. I'm shooting for 5.

Hey, maybe if I just babble on my blog all day I'll be able to figure out the rest. How boring would that be. Imagine how many paragraphs like this one I'd be able to generate if I sat here all day! Trust me People, you do not want the entirety of my brain barf out there on the Internet.

To wrap up:

1. I refuse to give you substandard Sunday Shoutouts. I will continue to try to be stunningly witty and have wonderful interviews with people.

2. I need to bake some cupcakes. I know I didn't cover that earlier, but I remembered that I wanted to apologize to the few of you that vicariously live through my food porn. I'll make some this week maybe.

3. I'll leave you with the a pic of the cutest kid ever. Starla and RJ's Babycake is so much fun. Unless he's mad..and then watch out.

Why have kids if you can't put socks on their ears and then laugh hysterically while in a sugar induced fit? He doesn't mind, as you can see.

Saturday well spent

2008-06-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

I spent my Saturday in Berkeley at the Chocolate and Chalk festival. You could get a free piece of sidewalk to decorate, with chances of winning some money. Or, if you're driven by your stomach, like Starla and I, you'll buy tickets for chocolate tastings, and bother the local business people with your ticket redeeming.
We tasted lots of chocolate. My best guess at the count was mousse, gelato, chocolate bars, a vegan ginger choc. chip cookie, a chocolate covered garlic cluster for Starla and RJ, and this enormous cupcake for brother Jordan:
Isn't family fun? Anyway, we ate too much, enjoyed the artwork. A good time was had by all:

(Especially the 10-month-olds.)

Here are some pics of the sidewalk art. Warning: It's a long post. Sorry, but I couldn't resist posting any of these. They were just so lovely. Some of my favorites didn't even make the cut, since I couldn't get the pictures to do them justice.

Even frogs love cupcakes!

My next vacation destinaton. Maybe if I think real hard, I can jump in there like Mary Poppins.

Cutest Snake in the grass I ever saw--->

This was so detailed and amazing! Chocolate brings everyone together.

I love this one. It's a little dude with a piano underground. I like to think the girl hears him and they fall madly in love. But hopefully they move in to her house, eh?

The couple in the lotus were just a small 12x12 part of this huge sidewalk statement for the peace walk that happened on Sunday. I just thought they were so lovely.

Who doesn't love the Lorax, eh? All my old school Camp A friends remember Lorax theme week!

These birds had tails that swooped out of the square. The title was "Peace Birds"

Someone wants to go to the movies.

Okay, this next one I have to set you up for. It was amazing. The woman had it stretched out about 8 feet or so, and it was amazingly detailed. The place where the water comes out of the sidewalk looked almost real. Plus, she had some animals in it that were so fantastic. I took close-ups that you'll see under the big one.

A surly lion.

A few political statements were made. I thought this was very nice:

And we have a winner for Obama's new campaign poster:

There were angry (asian?) guys running out of a store:

And very happy Amish guys having a conversation.

The mars landing was captured by a nice little family. We got the whole story from their 3-4 year old son. He was very excited about all the details.

There was war:

And peace:

And broccoli.

This was a scene from a children's book. In case you can't read it, it says " And they dreamed of a a green cat dancing with a pink dog til' they dissapeared in a soft grey fog." Cute.

Tough guys:
(If you don't know that's Mr. T, you're too young to be reading my blog. Go myspace or something.)

The guy who drew that one was WAY in his own world. I think he had a good time.

Betty Page was awesome! I almost didn't get a picture of her, because some french dude was in my way. Persistently in my way. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was on purpose.

I call this dude the 'God of Chocolate.' Very cool

And then this guy ate all the chocolate and we had to go home. With stuffed bellies. We couldn't even eat dinner. It was terrible in that great way that only a full stomach can be.
Next year, we decided to enter the art contest. It looked like so much fun.

Musings on employment and singleness

2008-05-28T10:28:00.001-07:00

So I bet you've all been wondering what the hey I've been doing with myself. If you haven't been wondering, at least have the decency to pretend to have been wondering. Geez.

I got a job! Okay, kinda a job! I will be temping for a company in SF that staffs conventions. You know, registration, scanning badges, making sure all those very rich people have all the stuff they need. I'm excited because it's another event planning bit to add to my resume.

I will likely begin couch surfing on a more permanent basis sometime in June. Starla and RJ are so fantastic for letting me do this. I crash into their lives pretty regularly now, and I honestly couldn't do it without them.
The only real bummer is that it sucks more to be broke down here. There is actual stuff to do, places to go...and no money to do it with. crap.

Okay, on to other news: I've been thinking about my upcoming 10 year high school reunion. It's been the default topic of conversation around here for at least a month now. The latest thing is the discussion about where to stay. We've almost got it pegged at spending too much money on a room at the hotel attached to the casino where the event is being held. It's more than we wanted to spend, but we'll be able to stumble into the elevator without too much danger or effort.

Another big point of discussion is who I'm going to bring as my date. Starla helpfully got on the Internet and began researching mail order husbands for me. Thanks. I HAD a date. I had a fantastic date. I had a boy that is the best "plus one" you could ask for. He's well mannered, attentive and not too hard on the eyes either. I had it all worked out in my head about how many girls were going to be staring at my date and asking him which way the beach is. (This is a thinly veiled reference to the size of his biceps. Which are considerably large, BTW)

Then, THEN, the reunion planning committee set the date for just about the only time he can't make it. Damn. There goes not only my best option for someone I will be able to stand sitting next to all night, but it also takes away my excuse for fondling the previously mentioned biceps. Damn.
So, I'm not going alone. I cannot do it. I can not leave a potential opening for all my life accomplishments to be swallowed up by the question "Oh, so you're single?" Ugh.

Sunday Shoutout!

2008-05-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

So that clever idea I had to post something clever every Sunday...didn't work. I was all set to write a 'Sunday Short' at the end of the week. It went with both key words in my title..it was the obvious choice!
The problem was...the 'Short' part. Most of this blog is me rambling. Why? Because that's what I do. Never have I found something worthy of my comment that I would be satisfied to comment shortly about. Unless under time limit for school or something. And even then, you can be sure that I was getting the watch tapping from the Prof in the back of the room.
So I am altering the Sunday post to be.....
"Sunday Shout out"
I am always on the Internet and I frequently find sites or blogs that become a daily habit for me. I need to share them! Up until now, I've been content to link them in my list and send Starla repeated emails with links to more things than she can probably watch.
Since I already talked about Engrish.com this week, and since I've been informed that you should ask permission first to mention someones site, even if it's a shout out...we'll be skipping this week. I'm sending permission slips as we speak to my new *favorite* blog. I hope she says yes!! Hmm..maybe I can do a mini interview...or maybe I'm getting way ahead of myself.
Anyways...tune in next week to see what I come up with!

Tough Muffin

2008-05-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

Okay..this is a really long post..but I promise there's a payout at the end. Here's what you get if you stick it out:

A recipe for the muffins my bookclub are eating tomorrow
A punch of my fantastic humor
A pervy muffin picture

All worth it, right? Here we go:

Inside-Out Danish Muffins

Your favorite flavor of jam. The thicker the better.
2 1/4 c All Purpose Flour
1/3 c Sugar
2 Tsp Baking Powder
1/2 Tsp Baking Soda
1/4 Tsp Salt
1 1/4 c Buttermilk
3 Tbsp Oil
2 egg whites
1 whole egg

-Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt in bowl, set aside.

-Cream eggs, oil and sugar in large mixing bowl. Alternately add buttermilk and dry ingredients.

Cheese Filling:

8 oz Pkg Cream Cheese
1 Tbsp Lemon juice
1/2 tsp vanilla
3/8 c sugar
1 egg

-Place a spoonful of batter in each muffin cup, or use papers if you want. Mine stuck, so I greased the pan the second time around.

-Place about a teaspoon of cheese stuff in the center of each batter blob. Like so:

- Now put about a teaspoon of jam on top of the cheese:

- Now cover them over with another spoonfull of batter. Make sure you cover all the goo.

- Bake them at 375 for 20 minutes. Or, if your oven is from the 6th ring of hell like mine, 325 for like 15. Stupid oven.

So I make these muffins, and I'm really excited, because yeah, the concept isn't exactly original, but I stole bits and pieces of recipes and made this my own. I just knew that as soon as I pulled them from the oven, a frazzeled looking photographer from Martha Stewart was gunna burst through the door and demand to take photos of them.

Little did I know that my muffins had gone bad. Or rather, only the strawberry. I had a little Westside Story on my hands. The clean cut apricot muffins had behaved themselves, browning and rising nicely, getting straight A's, playing sports...etc.

But the strawberry muffins were clearly from the wrong side of the muffin tin. They were so angry at having to bake alongside those goody two-shoes apricot muffins that they spewed. No, really. They came out all battle scarred and tough from defending their turf.

See that one of the lower left? Clearly the leader and spokesperson for the group. You can tell because he has the biggest mouth.
I thought we were going to have a rumble right there on the cooling rack.

I finally talked some sense into them and they settled down..but man, I still have to watch them. That strawberry guy has a serious attitude.

I know, I know..I promised you the pervy muffin. Fine. Here:

You guys need to get out more.

Engrish

2008-05-13T10:08:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I SO miss Japan. Every once in a while I go on Engrish.com to get my fix. For those of you who haven't been, it seems like it must be pretty hard to translate something into english. I gather that the sentence structure it different. Here's an example:

And sometimes they really mean it:

Lastly, you see really trendy japanese teens running around it shirts like this:

(Makes you wonder, do they know what that means?!)

More of the fun at Engrish.com!

Big, Fat Reality.

2008-05-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

I know that no one wants to hear about anyone else's body issues. Especially not in a blog. So why am a spreading my angst all over the internet? Because nothing says "Step away from the cupcake!" like pulling out the summer clothes.
I think somewhere along the line I must have ate a skinny person, because I always picture myself in my head as a windswept model, dressed in the latest trends (maybe not leggings) and laughing. I'm usally tossing my hair too.
Damn.
So....if you see me running along the side of the road, wheezing, sweating and red faced... Do not help me. And whatever you do, do not throw me a cupcake.

Hot new crushes...

2008-05-08T18:36:00.001-07:00

There are some new men in my life. I just thought you all should know. They are both handsome, talented and mysterious. At least one of them is too young for me, and the other is probably married. Of course they aren't real boys. They are TV boys!!!

Bachelor #1:

Mark Ballas

Am I right, or am I right? He's a Dancing With the Stars pro, and we all know I'm addicted to that show. He's partnered with Kristi Yamaguchi this season, and they are blowing the competition out of the water.

I'm hoping that since he's recently broken up with his girlfriend (partner from last season, Sabrina) that he's available for private lessons....;) Ugh..did I mention he's 21??

Bachelor #2:

Adam Levine

He's the lead singer for Maroon 5. If he's not a sexy, rockstar bad-boy, I don't know who is! He's got a naughty reputation and his nickname is "shark." Lemme at 'em!

Here are some more pics of my men. Insert me into photos at appropriate places. Thnx.

Relay for Life

2008-04-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

Today I walked the survivors lap with my mother at the ACS Relay for Life. It was really inspiring to see all these wonderful, brave people in purple t-shirts wearing the word "survivor" across their back. I was very proud of my momma.
I kicked myself for not bringing a camera, as I missed a fantastic shot of her placing her hand print on the cancer survivor's wall for the first time. We walked the lap and chatted, trying to lighten the moment so we didn't burst into tears. People lined the track clapping, which almost undid me.
We walked behind a lovely lady who had bone cancer in 1977, and has since taken to being sassy and wearing gingham Capri's. We walked a few feet away from a family who was there with their little boy, who couldn't be more than 4, wearing his purple 'survivor' shirt. I didn't talk for a bit after that. He, of course, didn't have any clue what was up. lol.
Anyway, next year, I'll be coming back to Chico to set up a 24 hour relay team with my mom, and to maybe set up a booth to sell my delish cupcakes to benefit the cause. "Cupcakes for the Cure.." nice ring to it. Probably I just stole that from someone.
So, thanks for all the support for me, while I supported her. Don't worry, I'll wait until next year to hit you up for pledges.

Loosened the Jar..

2008-04-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

We've all been there. You might be seeking jelly for your toast, or searching for a pickle to garnish a sandwich. Millions of things come in jars, and millions of us are pissed off every day by the inability to open them ourselves. You bang on it, you twist it, you turn it upside down and smack it with your palm..and still nothing.

This is where someone else walks in and says "Here, lemme try." And wouldn't you know, that jar just pops right open. You feel you must defend your weak biceps and now reddened face so you say "I must have loosened it."

To bring this all in context, I was talking with a boy last night, and I told him I had recently learned that an ex had gotten married. Now, I have not talked to the ex in ages, and I don't actually want to. But I had to express my shock at the balls it takes for him to actually move on and get married. Didn't he read the booklet that says upon dumping me on my butt, he is obligated to realize his mistake and pine for me forever? Shouldn't he be surviving on a diet of Melba toast and diet coke, barely holding a job, all hollow eyed and murmuring about my beauty?!?!

The boy on the phone didn't get it.

"Why is that a big deal?" He asked.

"Why?!" I sputtered. " What do you mean?"

"Well, do you guys even talk anymore?"

Poor boy, he had no idea what the conversation was actually about. I tried to use the jar loosening metaphor to explain. It did not help. Being a boy, he felt it his duty to disagree with the jar loosening = man loosening logic.

(In case you aren't familiar: I don't even know what movie or show coined this..perhaps Sex in the City. But the theory goes that you can date a man forever, put up with his crap, and one day you break up. He immediately marries the next girl. You loosened him, and she popped the top. Just like a jar of pickles. )

Thinking about it, marriage wasn't the goal for the ex. In fact, that would have been a real bad idea. But I couldn't find any good way to explain to the boy that okay, maybe it's not a BIG deal, but it is a medium deal. At least. It's bad for the vanity to have to face the reality that you are not Scarlett O'Hara, leaving a trail of broken hearted gentlemen in your wake.

So while I never did convince the boy of the importance of the issue, I did convince myself that I'm way grown up by not rushing into the arms of the two men who never fail me: Ben and Jerry. This man was sooo not even worth the pints of ice cream I already consumed for him. I'll be damned if I spoon even one more fudge swirl in his honor.

Cupcakes and Cupcake

2008-04-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

Book club was lovely last night. We ate my adorable but tedious cupcakes on a stick, and discussed the book for April, which was:

I actually really liked it, and we had a great discussion about it. I do need to learn to shut up though. I think Amy and I chatted the whole time, and it's so hard to get around us. Next month will be better, since I'll shut up, and hopefully more people who talk will have read the book.

I set myself up though..everyone is expecting some kind of themed treat now. I'll have to stress myself out over it for no real reason..when in fact they wouldn't care if I bought something at Safeway..and anyways I don't even think it's my week for food. Not that any of those things has the actual power to save me from myself.

I recommended 'Gone, Baby, Gone.' which is a fantastic new movie. Ties in with some of the themes we discussed last night. And all of you non book clubbers should watch it too!

Hostess cupcake seeds

2008-04-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello!

I'm not posting a Sunday Short today, because I spent all day today and half of yesterday on my new project, and I can't wait another minute to share!

I saw these lovely cupcake pops on Bakerella a while ago and decided I needed to copycat.

Aren't they adorable? My biggest problem was..I can't have white chocolate. I used to be allergic as a kid, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I've grown out of that, and now it's just the smell/memory association of all those sicks that gets me. Anyway..hard to work with white chocolate or almond bark if the smell makes you gag.

While eating the chocolate balls I made as a practice, my mom told me they tasted like Ho-Ho's. I should have got a mirror right then and checked for one of those cartoon lightbulbs. What an idea!! I'm going to make Hostess cupcakes on a stick. Being me, they had to be just right. NO faking..they had to have filling, icing , and those little squiggles. So...after many maddening trials, here they are:

The little buggers are pure evil. I had issues with the creme filling, then the chocolate, then trying to make them all stand up in the foam board I got. Now they are happily marching in formation across the counter.

Here's the middle:

They actually taste pretty darn good! I'm bringing them to my book club meeting tonight for all the ladies to enjoy while we discuss 'A Slice of Life' by Cupcake Brown.

Sunday Short

2008-04-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that really cool people do cool posts on their blog that have a theme. For example, Quirky Cupcake does a Saturday Confessional. Every Saturday..how novel.
I decided I need to do that. I mean..there's a day of the week right there in my title! What a fantastic setup. Plus, I'm always doing a lot of not much on a Sunday.
But the missing piece to the puzzle is....what to do. I thought 'Sunday Short' was kinda clever, but I haven't found clever content to match.
So, all two dedicated readers of my blog (Sarah and Starla) I will soon be adding this lovely feature. Any ideas are welcome.

Famous!

2008-04-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey all-
The fantastic authors of Hello, Cupcake (My new favorite book!) have featured my Puddles cupcakes on their blog! Yeah!!
Puddles is taking her fame is stride, though she thinks it should earn her at least one more belly rub per day, and a treat.
Check it out here:
http://blog.hellocupcakebook.com/

You can all say you knew me 'when.'

Sweet Cuppin Cakes

2008-04-09T16:20:00.001-07:00

The interest of the moment is cupcakes. I've been reading about them, designing them, inventing flavors, and generally obsessing. You may remember these from myspace:

I made them about a month ago to look like my adorable dog, Puddles. I've just heard that they may be posted on a blog by the authors of a lovely book called Hello Cupcake. I'll be sure to post a link as soon as they show up over there.

For now, the first attempt at Irish Car bomb cupcakes has been made. It's my newest invention of Guinness cupcake with Irish Cream center and a yummy dark chocolate ganache on top.Here they are in all their glory:

I love, love, love their glamorous shiny tops! They look so sophisticated on the plate.

However, they aren't yet ready for all the VIP tasters out there. I decided that the ganache wasn't as thick as I'd like, since I got in a big hurry to dip them and also I think I need to up the chocolate and whiskey in the mix. Second problem, my filling technique. I used this crazy syringe thing I found at the Galley in Chico, and it put out a small amount of yummy filling, considering the monster hole it left me to patch up. See?

So, back to the drawing board. I promise they will be out to you my valued tasters as soon as Miss Perfectionist is satisfied.

Bluebirds

2008-04-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

So I found this lovely knitting pattern from Berraco for a little stuffed bluebird of happiness. Here's what he's supposed to look like:

However...maybe my mood is affecting my knitting...because instead of a Bluebird of Happiness, I got a Bluebird of "I'm okay."

You say your a pranksta'....

2008-04-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

Happy April Fool's Day!!

As a kid, I would try so hard to come up with something really good to do to someone at school. I'd put real effort into it too..but I'd always spoil it for myself.
I just couldn't stand those moments of anticipation between "Hey I'm prego..." and "April Fools!!!" I mean, what if they really thought I was? And what if they were distressed about it. I just guess I'm not mean enough for that sort of thing.
The two exceptions are from college:
At 18, I had a roommate that worked in a grocery store and was totally anti-social due to the fact that he actually studied. Who does that? Anyway, homeboy would come home every day and throw himself on his bed. I mean...deathdrop. We could hear the crash through the whole apartment. So on AFD, we took all the bedding off and switched the position of his mattress and box spring. Then we remade the bed. He came home, threw himself on the bed and started cussing. It was hard as rocks...I actually have always sort of felt bad about it. I'm sure he's over it...but it makes me feel like the schoolyard bully...you know?
Karmic Lesson: I later worked with his sister and met his superhot brother at a party. I couldn't really look them in the eye over the guilt of being the most horrible person ever. And that brother was hot, too.

Prank #2 happened around the same time, and not actually on AFD. In those days, all the girlfriends of frat guys ended up hanging out together, especially if they weren't affiliated with a sorority. It was one of the nights that we were having a girls night and the guys were out of town on fraternity retreat. The president had given his girlfriend the keys to the frat house...just in case. We felt that a giant prank was a pretty good just in case indeed. One of the girls knew where to find a giant stack of old Playgirl magazines (why didn't I wonder where at the time?..eww.) so we spent the biggest part of the night amassing a giant stack of the male nude. We went to the house, and hid them everywhere...taped up in the shower, under the lid of the toilet, in the coffee, on the outside of the milk jug.
We also did some other stupid crap....like writing dorky things about our boyfriends in sidewalk chalk all over the patio ("hmm, I wonder who did this?") and moving things around in the house so no one could find them.
The best part came when the phone rang, and one of the girls answered it. It was the guys...and of course they wanted to know why the hell we were in the house. Cover=blown.
We got some small satisfaction from the unexpected sounds of disgust that echoed all over the house for months, as one of the guys found yet another naked man in the sugar.

Anyway..if you are hard up for ideas on a prank to pull, Here's a website:
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/

Celebrity Crush

2008-03-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

Okay..so I have a little game I like to play with friends. I wait until we've had a few drinks, and they I spring it..Who is your weirdest celebrity crush? This doesn't work with men. They really don't have the hots for any non-conventional women. A friend pointed out recently that maybe this has something to do with the lack of non-gorgeous women in Hollywood. Good Point.

So this has led to some amazing conversations with women friends, and usually gets us all a good insight into what we all want in a man besides smokin' good looks. (Though there is something to be said for those...and I'll get to that in a moment.)

I decided today that I should share my weird celebrity crush with the world. It comes at a good time, since my blog is so far not so exciting, and I think he may be about to get kicked off of Dancing with the Stars...since he's horrible.

That's right...Ace Carolla. I've been a fan since Loveline days...I was still in high school..giggling along as he and Dr. Drew lit their farts.

Now what is so ridiculous about that is that no way in my real life would I be okay with my boyfriend inviting a friend over to light farts. I would not be cool with the kind of 'screw women' outlook of The Man Show going on in my living room. And still...he's hot.

I usually win the "who has the weirdest celeb crush?" contest. A fierce runner up is my teacher friend who has the flaming hots for Drew Carey. It's even better if you know her.

So, having addressed my weird crushes..I thought I should let you all know (who is even reading this??) that I have a few normal crushes too. Either of the following men could convince me to move to BFE and muck out pig pens to be with them. No...really.

Anderson Cooper.....

and Vin Diesel.

Both hot..yes..but each in their own way. Anderson has that sexy gray hair thing...and Vin...well look at him.

I did realise that they both have a bad boy thing going. Anderson is dangerous..going into dangerous situations to find the truth. Very noble..no?

And Vin...he's all bad boy..except that something about him says he's a huge dork. The man made "The Pacifier." for the love of Pete. Plus..I heard somewhere he's into Dungeons and Dragons. I mean really.

Moral of this post: I like weird men. Even if they are international sex symbols..they gotta have some kind of oddness to them.

So boring!

2008-03-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

I had good intentions. I mean...I could have invented good intentions. I started this blog thinking I'd have all kinds of great things to say. I'd update everyday and show off all my baking and crafty things and tell people what I was up to.
But....I'm not up to anything. True, I made some rad cupcakes...and I'm knitting some boobs,(this deserves it's own post, and I promise to do one.) but I still don't have a job and people are sick of hearing it.
On top of that...I haven't even told people I have a blog. What a loser. I'm essentially writing to myself.
Resolution for the week: Do some cool crap to my blog and send people the address. Perhaps someone will read it.

Firsts

2008-02-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

Here it is: my first ever blog post. I don't know where this is going, or even if it's going to be interesting...but hey, you never know!